I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Can I color on your dick again?
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize