at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
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