My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
