He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
