I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
