You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
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