Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Randomize
