I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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