1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
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