I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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