So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize
