Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
