a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize