We should be called the Road Head Warriors
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I miss vodka workout Fridays
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
