Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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