i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
