ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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