she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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