I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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