yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
