Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
