All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
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