The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Randomize
