I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Randomize