the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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