it was like his penis was on wheels.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
