who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I just googled if crying burns calories
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I need a beard to bite.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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