someone threw a dead crab at me
Apparently you make a good broom.
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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