Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
i love accidental penises.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
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