im about as happy as oj after his trial
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
