im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
