fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
She needs sedatives and a leash
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
