That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
