sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
You are a genius and a whore.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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