I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
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