i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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