And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
