Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I believe in your delicious
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
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