Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
