I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
i out mim tonsoeep
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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