So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
