I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
