i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize