Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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