Can i not drive my cunt home
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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