all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Randomize
