I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
