Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize