He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Success! We fucked roommates!
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Randomize