If that was your dad, he is hot
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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