ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
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