i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
