this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize