I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Randomize
