U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
