hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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