Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
