I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Randomize
