he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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