***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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